36. Portrait of a Lady

I came across a slide show of Mario Testino's most beautiful celebrity photos on Vanity Fair's website. I love his work because he manages to take photographs that are gorgeous but also real. You get a sense of who each individual actually is. Whether it was Diana, Princess of Wales looking right out at us with those beautiful blue eyes, Jennifer Connelly in high fashion or Jennifer Aniston in barely anything, Testino managed to capture each woman's essence. 

All these great shots got me thinking about my own photos. Because I recently moved, I've been going through a lot of old photo albums and boxes. And what I noticed is that there aren't any shots in which I think I look like my true self. Don't get me wrong. I have plenty of photos from my school days, with friends and family and random travel pics. But none of them jumps out at me as being a really good photo that truly embodies my spirit. I think I've decided what my birthday gift to myself is going to be--a photography session to get a really good portrait taken.

 

What do you think? Do u have any photos that really look like "you"? Any photos that you're really proud of? Any shots where u look happy, energized, healthy or sexy? What's ur favorite shot?? Do u have one? What does it make you think of when you look at it? 

If u don't have a favorite photo, dress up, glam up, get your hair done and have someone take a really nice photo of you that you can frame and be proud of. Passing by a great photo of yourself on the mantle or side table can remind you every day of your optimum, amazing self. 

All photographs by Mario Testino for Vanity Fair

35. Advice from the First Lady

Next month, Michelle Obama will become the first First Lady to grace the cover of Glamour magazine in recognition of her work mentoring young women. I've admired the First lady's style, intellect and cool demeanor since she first hit the campaign trail with her husband. And so I was really interested to hear her advice to women in the sneak peek excerpt of her interview with Katie Couric for the magazine. Thought you might want to check it out too. Here are the highlights:

Don't put yourself last in line: In answer to a reader question about how she keeps her sanity, the First Lady told Katie, "I have always tried to put my kids first, and then...put myself a really close second, as opposed to fifth or seventh. One thing that I've learned from male role models is that they don't hesitate to invest in themselves."

When it comes to looks and style, set your own standards: “People are always going to have opinions, and people have a right to their opinions, particularly when you’re the First Lady; you’re representing the nation. So I can’t be surprised that people are interested. But I’ve tried to be at peace with the choices that I make first, and then be open to everyone else’s reflection.”



With men, don’t be swayed by “cute”: “Cute’s good. But cute only lasts for so long, and then it’s, Who are you as a person? Don’t look at the bankbook or the title. Look at the heart. Look at the soul...When you’re dating a man, you should always feel good...You shouldn’t be in a relationship with somebody who doesn’t make you completely happy and make you feel whole.”

Don’t wait to be “discovered” by a mentor: “I was blessed throughout my entire career. I had people rooting for me. It started with my parents, but it extended to almost every teacher that I had. When I was a young lawyer, there were other women and men in the firm who took me under their wing. Look for those mentors, because sometimes mentors don’t find you--sometimes you seek them out. Oftentimes, they’re flattered and glad to lend a hand.”

34. Alone Time

Photography by Simply Recipes

The plans that I had for tonight fell through at the last minute and, I have to admit, I sat here in a bit of a stupor for a good 20 minutes thinking about what else I could do. I ran through the contacts list in my phone wondering who might be available to have dinner without any notice. I called my brother but he had plans. My parents always love me to stop by but did I really want to resort to that? I even thought of running to Barnes and Noble just so that I wouldn't be the dreaded ALONE. 

But then I looked around at this new little space by the beach that I'm renting and I thought, "Would it be the worst thing in the world to get in my pajamas, make myself a nice dinner, pour a glass of wine and watch a movie...
by myself?" And the answer was resoundingly, "Doesn't sound that bad actually." So that's what I did. I also lined all of my kitchen and bathroom cabinets, did a load of laundry, organized my books on my new shelves and read a chapter of the book I'm working on finishing by the end of this week. And none of that would have gotten done had I phoned a friend to rescue me. Instead I rescued myself. 

And now, I'm sitting here on my new couch listening to the raindrops tapping against my living room windows and I'm thankful for relaxing, cozy, rainy nights with just me, myself and I.

And just in case you're wondering what yummy thing I made for dinner...the perfect meal for staying in by yourself...here's the recipe. And yes, I did have a glass of wine after eating french toast...it's my party and I'll do what I want to :)

33. Reading is Fundamental

Photography by ruminatrix

I love reading. When I was a little girl, I would beg my mother to take me to the local public library. And there I would load up on all kinds of delicious books--classics like Anne of Green Gables and Little Women and virtually every book in the Nancy Drew series. I would stack the books up high in my arms and try to get them to the front desk to check out. Sometimes my mother would say, "How are you going to get through all of those books." But in the end, she knew that I would. When I got home, I would cloister myself away in my bedroom or laze around outside reading in the yard. It was my greatest pleasure. And it was the perfect time and space travel enabler. But sadly, those days of leisurely reading with no care for time are gone. Work and friends and family and obligations and sleep have overtaken my reading time. For years, "read more" has been on my New Year's resolution list. And even though it was a hope, I'm not quite sure I believed it was possible to read all of the books on my to-read list. That is until I read about Nina Sankovitch in the New York Times. She committed to reading a book a day for 365 days and then posting a short review about each one on her blog, readallday.org.

I was so inspired by her quest, that I thought I would share the article link with you here. Although time is precious and limited, it's important to create the time for the things that bring you joy. I may not be able to read a book a day--Nina is retired and has admitted that she cut out almost all other activities to work on this project--but she does talk about some interesting ways to get the reading done. On the bus, waiting in line, sitting in the doctor's office. There are a lot of pockets of wasted time that, if we added them up, equal precious reading time. Check out the article and get started on that book that you've been meaning to read but haven't gotten around to. 

32. Fall Favorites

Here are some things that are making me happy now that the air has gotten chillier, the rain has started falling and the leaves are swirling. 

Caramel Apple Spice at Starbuck's

This drink is the perfect fall pick-me-up, especially if you're not a coffee drinker. Apple juice with cinnamon syrup, whipped cream, and a secret butter, caramel sauce. Absolutely de-lish!

Bandolino Castalino Riding Boots

I recently bought these boots and wore them for the first time today. With skinny jeans and a nice brown sweater, I feel like an equestrian. And I love the chocolate brown leather and the gold metal accent.

Monet's Water Lilies at the MoMA

Monet has always fascinated me--of course, for his color and beautiful subjects. But also for his persistence in painting the same subject, whether it be hay stacks or cathedrals or water lilies, over and over and over again in different seasons, varying degrees of light, or various types of weather conditions. He was interested in recording how the same subject was changed by these conditions and the results are stunning. This exhibit showcases the work he did on his property in Giverny, painting the lily ponds and the Japanese footbridge he constructed there.

NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) November 1st-November 30th

How many people do you know who have said that they might like to try their hand at writing a book? Maybe even the great American novel? And how many of those people do you know who have actually completed and then published their work? Probably not many. Well, that's where the National Novel Writing Month comes in. From November 1st to the 30th, participants are challenged to write to their heart's content and complete a full-length novel. The website offers writing support and nation-wide writing events are planned to help keep you plugging along. After one month, it might not be the great American novel but it very well might be the first draft of an eventual masterpiece.

Roasted Tomato Soup with Parmesan Wafers

There's not much that needs to be said about this one. Piping hot tomato soup is one of the most comforting and delicious things you can eat during the fall season. Roasting the tomatoes brings out all of the summery deliciousness in them and then blending them and adding the cream...well...it's perfection.

31. Settling In

Photography by moonjazz

So it's been a little while since I last posted. No excuse really except that a lot has been going on in the last few weeks. Divorce is final. Moved to my new apartment. Classes in full swing. Crying full throttle and with wild abandon. Oh, did I really just say that? There's something about saying goodbye to your old life and starting fresh that puts you a bit over the edge. In fact, I've been unravelling a bit lately. Last week, in the grocery store, I ran into an old acquaintance who I haven't seen in a few years. He asked me what I was doing in the area. Had I moved? How was my husband? And I just stared back at him. And then, horror of horrors...I started to cry! In the middle of aisle 6. Yes. I babbled a bit. Sputtered. Pulled it together and explained to this guy (and the two blue-haired senior citizens who had stopped to eavesdrop)-that no, I didn't need medical attention. I had just gone through a divorce. He was apologetic, of course. But I didn't care so much about him. I was more worried about myself. What had happened to me? Me- the usually stoic, can handle anything, never fazed, let it roll off your back, happy-go-lucky girl who DOES NOT CRY IN THE FROZEN FOODS AISLE. Why was I so sad?

I spent the weekend thinking more about all of this. And I came to the very obvious conclusion that I'm sad because I need to be. I'm sad because it's ok to mourn the loss of something that was once so precious and such a source of joy for me. Something that seemed like the happy ending but was just a beautiful illusion. It's ok to say that you need time alone, time to reflect on who you were then, who you are now, who you want to be. This is a very critical time. It's time to make sense of the mess that was left in the aftermath of all that pain. Time to decide which direction to travel. Time to navigate my new space. It's an exciting time and a very scary one. It's the first time I'm living on my own. I had roommates in college but I never lived solely by myself. And so the first few days were scary and lonely and confusing. Eventually, though, I came to the conclusion that this is simply the settling in period. A time of reflection and self-work, and discovery. It's an opportunity to learn and grow and make myself happy. I've created an initial list of some of the things I've been doing and plan on doing around here in the next few weeks. Maybe you also just moved or maybe you've been in the same place for years but have never actually "settled in." Make yourself at home. Enjoy what's right in front of you. Be content to just be. There's no rush. Take your time. Live.

1. Make a pot of tea in my new teapot.
2. Shop for a beachy painting for above my couch.
3. Make it a habit to go running on the boardwalk at least 3 times a week.
4. Try the Thai, Japanese, Italian and Mexican restaurants down the street.
5. Find the nearest grocery store.
6. Meet more of my neighbors.
7. Set up a writing space.
8. Have my first dinner party.
9. Decorate for the holidays.
10. Create a totally organized closet system.
11. Make a pot of homemade soup.
12. Find a place for all of my books.

Photography by boopsie.daisy

13. Host a movie night.
14. Have the girls over for a slumber party weekend.
15. Become a regular at the yummy Italian bakery around the corner.
16. Read more.
17. Take great naps.
18. Post more regularly to this blog.
19. Explore some of the antique shops in the area.
20. Meditate.
21. Read the Sunday New York Times every week.

22. Listen to loud music and dance around my apartment.

23. Let the ocean breeze float in through the back balcony and out through the front windows

24. Subscribe to Coastal Living

25. Take time to enjoy everything that is around me.

30. The Bucket List

Photography by wallyg

I was really inspired today by Maggie Mason's Mighty Life List. I was also amazed by the fact that she was somehow able to get Intel to sponsor her to actually do all of the 100 things on her life list! That includes swimming with bioluminescent plankton in Puerto Rico, watching the sunrise over the Aegean and standing inside the Taj Mahal. When you really sit down to write the things you'd like to accomplish before you kick it, it really makes you think--time's flying by and every minute is an opportunity. So I decided to write my own bucket list. Here's what I came up with. What's on yours?

1. Visit all 50 states

2. Visit all 7 continents

3. Eat at El Bulli

4. Eat at The French Laundry

5. Fly in a hot air balloon

6. See the Pyramids at Giza

7. Take horseback riding lessons

8. Have my book published

9. Write a screenplay

10. Take cooking lessons with Patricia Wells in Paris

11. Stay in a cliffside hotel on Santorini

12. Be in the audience at the Oprah show

13. Go on an African safari

14. Climb Kilimanjaro

15. Run a marathon

16. Have a job where I can work from anywhere in the world

17. Start a foundation

18. Visit the Louvre, the Prado, the Musee D'Orsay, and the Uffizi

19. Have a one woman art show

20. See Georgia O'Keeffe's house

21. Be on television

22. Have a drink at an Irish pub

23. Learn to speak Italian fluently

24. Have lunch at Cafe de Flore

25. Go to the U.S. Open finals

26. Go to the World Series

27. Stay at a villa in Tuscany

28. Get a letter back from J.D. Salinger

29. Visit Peru and Machu Picchu

30. Ride in a gondola in Venice

Photography by derpunk

31. Bike through Provence

32. Stay in a cottage in Scotland

33. Buy fresh flowers every week

34. Write for the New York Times 

35. Go to the Savannah St. Patrick's Parade

36. Attend Mardi Gras

37. See Monet's garden at Giverny

38. Visit my cousins in New Zealand

39. Eat sushi in Japan

40. Start a Sunday supper club

41. Lead a book group

42. See Frank Lloyd Wright's Fallingwater

43. Visit Buckingham Palace

44. Live on the beach

45. Have my professional portrait taken

46. Live overseas for a year

47. Win the lottery

48. Cook all of Ina Garten's recipes

49. Make a successful souffle

50. Grow beautiful roses

51. Take a cruise around the world

52. Complete a NYTimes Sunday crossword puzzle

53. Complete a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle

54. Grow my own vegetables

55. Learn to play tennis well

56. Learn to sail

57. Learn to play golf

58. Learn to play the violin

59. Learn to play piano

60. Go white water rafting

61. Swim with dolphins

62. Go on a helicopter ride

63. Visit the Grand Canyon

64. Go to the Galapagos Islands

Photography by anadelmann

65. See the cherry blossoms in Washington D.C.

66. Be in Times Square for New Year's Eve

67. Celebrate Oktoberfest in Germany

68. Visit the Vatican

69. See Gaudi's La Sagrada Familia in Barcelona

70. See the Acropolis in Athens

71. Visit the Kremlin

72. Go to the Super Bowl

73. See my book turned into a film

74. Visit the caves at Lascaux

75. See the Colisseum in Rome

76. Visit Petra, Jordan

77. Shop at Pike Place market in Seattle

78. Read all the books on my classics list

79. Learn to play chess

80. Take a painting class

81. Win a literary award

82. Build a Habitat for Humanity home

83. Pay for a student to go to college

84. Check off every item on the 75 Skills Every Woman Should Master

85. Write a regular magazine column

86. Buy stock

87. Watch all the films on my Greatest Movies List

88. Fall in love

89. See my blog on the Technorati 100 list

90. Go to the Olympics

91. Go to TED Talks

92. Meet the Dalai Lama

93. Visit India

94. Take up yoga again

95. Go to the Kentucky Derby

96. Learn to meditate

97. Teach adults to read

98. Walk every day

99. Try acting

100. Have no regrets