5. Forget Regret

Photography by v1nz

I've spent a good amount of time over the last year thinking about regrets. What if I had only done what my heart had told me to do? What if I had said no? What if I had stopped myself from saying hurtful things? What if I had actually asked myself what I wanted? What if I had just told everyone to kiss my butt? What if? What if? What if? I eventually felt as if my regrets were giant shackles literally weighing me down. But I've recently been trying to unlock those shackles and rid myself of such a heavy burden. 

The writer, Katherine Mansfield once said "Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can't build on it; it is only good for wallowing in." That image seems so appropriate. Wallowing is exactly right. To regret simply means that we stay fixated in one place feeling sorry for something we can never change. There's nothing to build on. But if we look on past experiences as just that--experience--we can use what we've learned to make smarter choices in the future. And so, I ask you, is there something you've done or said in the past that you've been holding onto with a vice-like grip? Something that, if it were to grow wings and take flight, would leave you feeling lighter and more at peace? If you answer in the affirmative, then here's the exercise: Take that little piece of regret that has been itching you like sand in your bikini bottom and turn it around. How can this "what if" be turned into a lesson for the future? What have you learned from going through this experience that is an asset to you today? Remember, with regret there's nothing to build on. But if you listen to the lessons of your experiences, you create a foundation that nothing can shake.