9. Going It Alone

Photograph by skrockodile

When I drive into Philadelphia to visit Helen for the weekend, I try to get in early before rush hour begins on Friday afternoon. But that means that she isn't home from work yet. So I usually park my car and walk to the art museum and spend a few hours there. Or I'll hit a coffee shop in the area, buy myself a chai and wander. 

I arrived here in Phili. yesterday afternoon and, instead of my usual spots, I stopped into this great restaurant called Figs. It serves Moroccan inspired food and has a very relaxed BYOB atmosphere. I decided to order a pot of their amazing mint tea. They serve it in beautifully small and delicate glasses. And it smells divine--fresh crushed mint leaves sit at the bottom of your cup and you get an aromatherapy treatment each time you take a sip. I sat at the window looking out at the street and read a book until I got the call from Helen that she was home. It was the perfect "on my own" outing. Once upon a time, I had a huge issue with going anywhere by myself. What will people think if I go to a movie alone? That I don't have any friends who would want to go with me? That I'm a crazy loner? What kind of weirdo goes to a restaurant and has a meal alone? Why not eat my frozen pizza at home without the glares and stares of people who are coupling? 

The poet, Edwin Robinson, once said, "For when a woman is left too much alone, sooner or later she begins to think. And no man knows what then she may discover." I've found that my recent solo excursions have given me that time to think--time that has allowed me to ponder so many different things like future goals, creative projects, how I spend my weeks, how I want to nourish my body, how I got here, who I want to spend my time with, the mark I want to leave on this world, etc. Some simple, day-to-day concerns and some big, existential thoughts. But none of this thinking would be possible without alone time. Me time. One of my favorite things is to go to the movies alone. I get to pick the movie I want to see (which most of the time is some artsy fartsy thing that no one else would care to pay money for) and I get to really enjoy the experience in my own way. That's not to say it isn't enjoyable with others but it's just different. Same goes for eating alone or taking a walk alone or spending the afternoon roaming the bookshop alone or traveling alone. 

Julia Cameron, in her book, "The Artist's Way," talks about the importance of filling up the well. She specifically talks about artists and the necessity of taking time alone to recharge those creative juices. This can only come from solitude, reflection and creating an environment in which you will be able to notice the beauty around you. The same, I think, can be said for life in general. If we don't set aside sacred time to think about our own desires, ideas, and feelings, these things lie under the surface without a proper outlet. And if we don't fill our well--with new places, people, sights, sounds and tastes--it goes dry. Take some time this week to go on a solo excursion. As time goes on and you begin to feel more comfortable with the concept, I promise you that you will look forward to this special time alone, by yourself and only for yourself.